michaelblume:

*opens pill botttle*

*opens water bottle*

*pours some water out into my hand*

“Wait. No, that’s…no.”

Steve Irwin would have been able to lift Mjolnir, reblog if you agree.

a conversation i had with a 96-year-old woman

heywriters:

misfireish:

96 yr old: You know how your parents probably say things like, “you were BORN with the internet, you don’t know what it’s like to live without!”

Me: yeah

96 yr old: Well, my parents said that to me about electricity.

I once made the mistake of asking a 96yo lady what she liked to watch on tv as a kid and she got a good laugh out of that before saying loudly, “I REMEMBER WHEN RADIO WAS INVENTED.”

beckaaay:

autisticqueen:

people who make fun of autistic people are no longer allowed to use slime, weighted blankets, stress balls, or anything similar that originated and/or was popularized by the autistic community.

i very much agree, however, may i also propose:

peanutworm:

thewildonion:

chiefmilesobrien:

peanutworm:

You, an intellectual: 9+7=16

Me, with ADHD: if you take 1 from 9 and give it to 7 thats 8+8 and 8x2 is 16

Someone, usually a Teacher: NOT LIKE THAT YOU HEATHEN

This is literally how I would have done it

9 is a hungry bitch and takes one from 7, making it 10+6=16

VALID

cookie-sheet-toboggan:

why i stan ryan reynolds’s deadpool

negasonic teenaged warhead (comics): a white goth without a love interest

ryan reynolds: she’s a biracial goth with a lovely japanese girlfriend

russell collins (comics): a buff blond blue-eyed american

ryan reynolds: he’s a chubby polynesian māori kid from new zealand

domino (comics): She’s white with a black tattoo around her eye

ryan reynolds: she’s black with a vitiligo patch around her eye

vanessa carlysle (comics): unknown ethnicity

ryan reynolds: we’ll make her brazilian

blind al (comics): white

ryan reynolds: black

deadpool (comics): a pansexual canadian

ryan reynolds: i sure am!! …i mean, he sure is!

lovewitch2016:

lovewitch2016:

a person of color: racism–

a white european, materializing out of nowhere: actually i’m not from america so i don’t get this. can someone explain this? race is actually a US-centric concept. it was invented in the US. i need you to break this down for me because here in europe we don’t judge people by race. 

me: makes this post

white europeans with glass bones and paper skin: ACTUALLY you stupid ethnic american, what you DON’T understand is *insert wikipedia page about the british colonization of ireland/scotland* *insert wikipedia page about the ottoman empire* AND ANOTHER THING, EASTERN EUROPEANS DIDN’T EVER PARTICIPATE IN IMPERIALISM SO DON’T BLAME US, *insert standard speech about how ‘white’ isn’t a category that exists in europe because white people don’t know the difference between racism, ethnic discrimination, and xenophobia and they don’t understand how white supremacy exists as a specific type of hierarchy*